Every PADI Professional has encountered 'That One Diver' - the one who makes you question your career choices, your sanity, and possibly the laws of physics. Fear not, fellow dive guru! Here's your ultimate survival guide for teaching the student who seems determined to test every ounce of your patience and creativity.
1. The "I Know Everything" Encyclopaedia
Symptoms: Constantly interrupts with "Actually..." and has a PhD in Google searches.
Survival Tactic: Channel your inner game show host. Turn their "knowledge" into a fun quiz for the whole class. "That's an interesting fact about shark intestines, Josh! Let's see if the class can guess how many meters of intestines a great white shark has!"
2. The Aquaphobic Adventurer
Symptoms: Signed up for scuba but is terrified of water deeper than a bathtub.
Survival Tactic: Baby steps are your friend. Start with floating face-down in the kiddie pool. Celebrate every milestone like they've just discovered a new species. "Congratulations on putting your face in the water for 3 seconds, Sarah! You're practically a mermaid now!"
3. The Equipment Destroyer
Symptoms: Somehow manages to tangle a simple regulator and could break a weightbelt just by looking at it.
Survival Tactic: Invest in indestructible demo equipment for them. Introduce them to the dive shop's equipment manager as their new best friend. "Hey Bob, meet your new favorite customer, Mike. He'll be keeping you in business single-handedly!"
4. The Perpetual Floater
Symptoms: Has the buoyancy control of a helium balloon in a hurricane.
Survival Tactic: Introduce the "hover challenge." Award points for the least vertical movement. Deduct points for every turtle startled by their unexpected ascent.
5. The Chatty Cathy Underwater
Symptoms: Tries to narrate their entire dive experience through their regulator.
Survival Tactic: Play the "silent game" underwater. The one who stays quiet the longest wins a special prize (like not having to clean the boat at the end of the day).
6. The Aquatic Houdini
Symptoms: Has a talent for disappearing from the group faster than you can say "buddy system."
Survival Tactic: Invest in a bright neon wetsuit for them. Bonus points if it has a built-in GPS tracker. "Looking good in that glow-in-the-dark suit, Tom! We can probably see you from space now!"
7. The Underwater Photographer Wannabe
Symptoms: More focused on getting the perfect selfie with a clownfish than actually diving.
Survival Tactic: Designate special "photo stops" during the dive. "Alright, everyone! We've reached the 'Instagram checkpoint'. You have 30 seconds to take your pics before we move on!"
8. The Air Guzzler
Symptoms: Goes through air faster than a kid with a balloon and a pin.
Survival Tactic: Turn it into a friendly competition. "Okay, team, whoever comes back with the most air in their tank gets a special 'Air Conservation Champion' certificate!" (Maybe don't mention it's printed on recycled paper.)
9. The Gear Minimalist
Symptoms: Always forgets at least one crucial piece of equipment.
Survival Tactic: Create a catchy equipment checklist song. "Mask, fins, snorkel, BCD! Don't forget your weights, or you'll float away with glee!"
10. The Overthinker
Symptoms: Analyzes every possible scenario, mostly disastrous ones, before even getting in the water.
Survival Tactic: Positive visualization techniques. "Let's all close our eyes and imagine ourselves as graceful sea turtles, gliding effortlessly through the water. No, Jerry, the sea turtle doesn't get tangled in kelp and call for an emergency evacuation."
Remember, every challenging student is an opportunity to become a better instructor. They push us to be more creative, more patient, and occasionally, more creative with our vocabulary when underwater.
So take a deep breath (on the surface, of course), remember this guide, and dive in with a smile. After all, these are the students who make the best stories for your next dive instructor meet-up.
Comments